Episode 121: The Relationship You Want with Your Financial Advisor with Dasarte Yarnway
Dasarte Yarnway is the Founder & Managing Director of Berknell Financial Group, an innovative independent wealth management firm focused on helping millennials and seasoned investors design their best lives.
Since the firm’s inception, Berknell Financial Group has become one of the most notable millennial-led financial services organizations. In an industry that focuses on revenue and dollars-invested, Dasarte realized that a firm’s value is created through how they could invest in their clients. Through this, The Wealth Bridge™ , Private Client Groups and Berknell Athletes were created. With his passion for listening to his clients greatest concerns and applying realistic solutions, Dasarte has become the go-to partner for millennials, growing families and seasoned investors alike. Berknell encapsulates this approach in their motto: Advice With You In Mind.
Coined a “financial thought leader” and Guru by NerdWallet and Financial Planning Magazine, Dasarte believes in meeting you where you are. He offers advice and insight through his weekly podcast, The Young Money Podcast, three books (Dating Benji 2016, Young Money 2018, Pay Me In Equity 2019) and weekly blog. His prayer is that you may design your wealth on your terms.
HERE’S WHAT YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
The story of how Dasarte got into the financial world
The group Dasarte likes to empower around their finances
How he built an ecosystem of financial knowledge for a community of people
Why Dasarte embodies a mindset of servant leadership
Applying the R.I.I.T.E. planning process
The reason Dasarte has applied the lighthouse method in all that he did
What the bigger picture for Berknell Financial looks like
The changes Dasarte has made to build his business more efficiently
The responsibility Dasarte feels to improving the financial industry
The hardest business lesson learned by Dasarte
The niche that Berknell Financial is continuing to reach
The biggest thing many clients don’t understand
The unique challenges athletes face with financial decisions
Who the real hero is in the advisor-client relationship and why
Change and control go hand in hand. Some changes fall easily into your scope of control, whereas others remain just outside it. You can’t control the weather no matter how much you wish that sunny January morning was actually sparkling snow. But there are other times when it doesn’t feel like you have control over a situation when you really do — and your personal financial health (and money mindset) is certainly one of them. People often fixate on the money aspects they can’t control, like the market or returns, instead of focusing on what they can control like savings, spending, investing, goal-setting, and more.
When it comes to personal finance, whether or not you feel in control has everything to do with perspective. Your financial perspective is also known as your money mindset. What is a money mindset and do you have the power to change it? Let’s find out.
What’s a Money Mindset?
Similar to a money script, a money mindset is the unique attitude, perspective, and narrative you weave using your thoughts, actions, and beliefs toward money. Your money mindset extends beyond the bounds of your personal life and enters into your general feelings toward finances.
Your money mindset informs the way you manage, save, spend, and invest your money. When you better understand your perspective toward your money, you begin to see where your financial habits come from. A money mindset influences your thoughts and actions, which can have both positive and negative consequences.
Someone with a healthy money mindset likely feels confident, secure, knowledgeable, and energized about their financial life. Someone with a negative money mindset might feel anxious, guarded, or uncomfortable about their financial situation. Not sure where you fall? Ask yourself some questions to help shed light on your money mindset:
How does your financial situation make you feel?
Are you comfortable talking with your spouse, parents, friends, etc. about money matters?
Do you like your financial habits?
Are you secure in your financial future?
Do you often compare your financial situation to others?
Are you confident you can achieve your financial goals?
These questions help reveal how you view money. It illustrates how you see your debt, whether you make healthy financial choices, how confident you are in your financial future, and so much more.
How is Your Money Mindset Formed?
Your money mindset is formed from your distinct lived experiences. Everyone has a different story and relationship with money because everyone has had different experiences with it throughout their lives. Someone who worked during high school and college might have a different perspective on saving than someone whose first job was well into their 20s.
Along with your personal experiences, your mindset is also formed by how money impacted the people closest to you.
Was money a taboo topic in your house?
Were your parents or loved ones constantly stressed about money?
Did your family prioritize charitable giving?
Was financial literacy a core topic of conversation in your house?
All of these past experiences likely influence your attitude and approach toward money today. Someone who grew up in an environment where money was a sore spot might not like managing their finances (or might always worry about having enough money to support themselves and their family).
Your attitudes and perspectives are shaped by the people around you, and those closest to you tend to profoundly influence your thoughts and beliefs. As the saying goes, you are who you spend time with,
Why Care About Your Money Mindset?
As noted earlier, your money mindset is directly connected to your current financial habits. It affects how you approach money, the way you view and use debt, how you think about your future, and how you view the financial habits of others.
When you know how you approach money, you’ll be more equipped to make intentional decisions that push you in a positive direction. After reflecting on this concept, you may realize you lean on your credit cards too often for purchases you don’t need and that don’t further your goals. You may also discover your propensity for giving comes from a long line of generous role models.
Your money mindset also reveals both your positive and negative traits regarding financial management. This concept isn’t inherently intuitive. It’s critical to spend some time thinking through these questions and being honest with yourself about your attitude toward your money.
The best thing about a money mindset? Like perspectives, they can shift. Here’s a few ways you can change your mindset to improve your financial outlook.
5 Steps to Change Your Money Mindset for the Better.
Personal finance fluctuates and changes, which always leaves room for improvement. Remember, your money mindset is something you can control. Here are some ways you can evolve and make progress:
1. Believe You are Destined and Deserve Success
Too often, a negative mindset leads people to give up on their financial goals. It’s important to approach your money from a place of openness, curiosity, and excitement. Believing that you can reach your goals and find success is the first step. Once you have that foundation, you’ll be able to construct habits that support those beliefs.
This doesn’t mean your entire financial road will be paved with rainbows and sunshine, but it does mean you’ll allow yourself to find success. How can you shift this perspective? Spend some time setting new financial goals. Your goals are the foundation of your financial plan. Once you have your goals, set some key milestones to celebrate as you work toward them.
Starting from a positive headspace will help you make choices that are aligned with those productive thoughts.
2. Picture Your Future Self
Sometimes it’s crucial to flip this tough interview question back on yourself. Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20, even 30 years? Where have you grown? What have you accomplished? What do you want for your future self? Picturing your future can be a telling exercise as it can reveal if you’re on the right path to attaining it.
Maybe starting your own business is a critical milestone in your life. You might suddenly realize you haven’t started saving for this venture or really thought about the type of business for you. Fill in those missing pieces so you can set yourself up and bring that future vision to life.
You might also try picturing your dream retirement. Where are you living? How are you spending your time? Are you fulfilled? When you can see your future self, you can find the motivation you need to get there. Maybe this year commit to maxing out your retirement accounts or increasing the contributions to your other investments.
3. Give Freely and Generously
Your comfort level with giving back to causes, organizations, and people you care about says a lot about your money mindset. In general, those who intentionally make space for giving feel more confident, secure, and fulfilled with their money.
Every person will have a different capacity for giving, but when you feel comfortable giving away some of your money, you’ll move from a space of scarcity to one of abundance.
A scarcity mindset is a dangerous narrative, one that leaves you constantly chasing the idea of “enough”. Abundance, on the other hand, is about setting yourself up for financial success and structuring your money in a way that brings meaning and fulfillment.
4. Immerse Yourself in Knowledge
One of the best ways to combat negative habits is to learn healthier ones. Financial management isn’t simply intuitive, it’s something you need to work toward and spend time with to get right.
Take some time to read books, blogs, and articles. These resources can broaden your perspective and help you improve the areas where you’re struggling.
Talk with family and friends about the questions you have. They might be able to share their wisdom or perhaps just open a line of conversation.
Seek out a professional. A financial advisor can help address your money mindset and give you practical tools to improve it.
Knowledge is power and making the most of the resources available to you will help you shift your perspective.
5. Know Where You Are and Where You Want to Be
To change something, you need to understand two elements:
Where you are.
Where you want to be.
Let’s use investing as an example. When you know you veer into a scarcity mindset when the topic of investing comes up, you can use the tools and resources around you to overcome those feelings. If you want to reach your financial goals, odds are you’ll have to embrace investing.
To embrace the role investing plays in your finances, do some research on what investing means to you. Understand your risk tolerance, set goals, and work with someone you trust. All of these elements will help you build a positive and fulfilling mindset.
Your money mindset powers your thoughts, attitudes, and perspectives toward your finances. Remember, you can control how you view, approach, and manage your money. By understanding your current money mindset, you’ll be able to create positive habits that help you accomplish your goals.
We love talking about money around here. If you want to learn more about your money mindset, give us a call.
Much of our daily behavior relies on habits. Take your morning routine. Do you jump right out of bed or do you snooze a few cycles? Are you a brush-your-teeth-before-breakfast or after- breakfast type of person? Do you tie your shoes with a single or double loop? Some of these things you might not even notice unless pointed out to you. They are learned behaviors and preferences that move you through the world, and they greatly impact your life. Researchers found this same principle applies to money.Your views, attitudes, and belief system about money shape the way you approach, discuss, and further your financial vision. The unwritten rules dictating your financial life are known as a money script.
Money scripts demonstrate your belief system about money and can illuminate both good and bad financial habits you’ve developed over the years. Knowing your money script can empower you to make actual, tactical changes to your financial life.
What Are Money Scripts?
In 2011, financial psychologist Brad Klontz and his research team published a study in the Journal of Financial Therapy about people’s reactions to money-related statements like “It’s not polite to talk about money,” or “Things would be better if only I had more money.”
These statements were meant to gauge people’s views and biases about money and how it operates in their lives. What Klontz and his team found was that people held four different systems of belief, which he called money scripts. He notes these beliefs are typically unconscious and likely learned during childhood and adolescence.
Think back to the way your parents or guardians talked about money:
Did they pinch pennies and maintain a frugal lifestyle?
Were they stressed about money?
How did they approach the topic of money with you, if at all?
Did they have disdain for people with either a lot of or very little money?
These questions help you think critically about money beliefs you’ve been internalizing for decades, and are correlated with your behavior and financial wellness. Let’s look at Klontz’s four money scripts and how they can help you understand your financial actions.
1. Money Avoidance
Does thinking about, talking about, or managing your money cause stress and anxiety? Do you envy people with more money? If so, you may fall into the money avoidance category.
Money avoidance, Klontz found, is a fascinating paradox: someone can assume money is bad or tainted but still believe money will solve their problems. Money avoidance suggests that living without money elevates your moral status, which often leads to self-sabotage, doubt, and unhappiness with your wealth.
Money avoidance may lead to giving away more money than you have (whether to family, friends, or charities) in an unconscious effort to decrease your worth. Sticking to this script can also lead to not thinking about money, ignoring financial statements, and struggling to create and stick with a budget.
Actionable Resources to Fix Avoidance
Just because you fall into one of these scripts doesn’t mean the rest of your life is defined by them. Understanding your money script can help challenge you to make intentional improvements in your financial life. By employing healthy actions, you can assume a new outlook on how money affects your well being.
Money avoiders benefit from:
Checking-in on your money.
Instead of saving your statements for another day, make today the day you look at your credit card bill.
Throw away the budget not working for you and start from scratch. Use a digital platform or app to track your spending habits.
Set regular check-in intervals, (i.e. weekly, monthly, or quarterly) to bring added structure to your plan.
Re-defining the role money plays in your life.
Right now you see money as a negative element. Re-think that space and list ways money can positively impact your life and others, like reaching your goals, eliminating debt, charitable giving, etc.
2. Money Worship
Let’s start with a few money statements:
Money is the key to happiness.
Money can solve any problem.
There will never be enough money.
Do any of these statements ring true for you? If so, you may fall into the category Klontz calls money worship.
This mindset leads people to believe that money is the end-goal. In the quest for accumulating wealth as rapidly as possible, people are left with an empty void since there will never be “enough” money to meet their ever-changing wants. People may prioritize work over family and other relationships and tend to overspend to maintain their prized status.
Money worship takes retail therapy to heart by seeking to buy new things to bring a sense of happiness, purpose, and meaning. The problem is money can’t buy happiness, and this habit ends up leaving people miserable and in debt.
Tips to Make Money a Means, Not the End.
Money is a tool to help achieve your goals. But when money takes center stage, goals and dreams fall to the wayside. Here’s how you can redefine where money falls on your priority list:
Bring your goals into focus.
Money is a vehicle to help reach your goals. When this gets blurry in the chase for more money, stop and think about your truest life goals. What’s at the top of the list? What do you value? How can your money bring about those values and goals? When money goes out of focus, your goals can take center stage.
Give with intention.
Building charitable contributions into your plan can structure your finances in support of personally meaningful causes and organizations that also help others. Giving shifts your gaze from chasing money to seeing it work in other’s lives.
Curb impulse spending.
Let’s face it: shopping can be a thrill. It’s great to jump into a cozy new sweater or enjoy that new car smell, but the novelty wears off and can lead to buyer’s remorse. Before you purchase something new, take time to think about how that purchase fits with your goals. Does it further them or detract from them? Why do you want this new item? These questions get you thinking mindfully about what you purchase and why which can lead to better buying decisions.
3. Money Status
Closely linked to money worship, money status conflates net-worth and self-worth. This money script epitomizes the “Keeping Up with the Joneses” mentality. People lavishly overspend and maintain a lifestyle they can’t afford to impress those around them. This leads to lifestyle inflation which compromises their ability to save for the future.
Klontz’s research suggests a money status script can lead people to believe if they live a good life, the universe will reward them financially for their good behavior. He also found this script can lead to gambling and hiding spending habits from a spouse or family member.
Money status can be tough to deal with as society frequently pushes us to buy a house we can’t afford, upgrade our cars because we deserve it, and make random purchases under the guise of “self-care.” But this mindset doesn’t set you up for future success.
How to Change the Definition
Money doesn’t define you. This can’t be said enough. While it might be hard to not indulge in the present, tracking your spending and saving will set you up for happiness in the future. When you manage your present money needs with foresight into your future needs, you can find that balance between saving for tomorrow and living for today.
Strive for financial and emotional health.
In life and in money, there needs to be a balance. It’s critical to find a balance that works for you and aligns with your values and goals.
Spend and save with intention.
When you spend with intention, you find you actually spend less. Before making a purchase, assess how it aligns with your goals and values. Is this purchase a bandaid or status symbol, or does it actually further your vision and improve your life?
The same idea applies to saving. When you have a goal for saving and investing money, you have more stake in its success. This brings about a more meaningful savings strategy so you can take that dream vacation, do your house remodel, send your kids to college, and retire with the lifestyle you want.
4. Money Vigilance
This script involves people approaching their financial lives with swift practicality, logic, and thoughtfulness. Money vigilance tends to mean people view money as a byproduct of hard work, discipline, and frugality. People with this mindset aren’t waiting for a financial windfall or diligently scratching lottery tickets, instead, they approach money from a tactical perspective.
Unsurprisingly, Klontz views this script as the most financially stable and healthy one in the bunch. However, money vigilance can sometimes indicate a fear over one’s financial future, which can lead to anxiety and a lack of balance between spending and saving. This mindset can also mean people are private about finance matters and aren’t comfortable talking about their money with others.
Tips to Save for Tomorrow and Live for Today
Money vigilant people can find it difficult to enjoy the money they have. Fears over the financial future can lead to anxiety, lack of sleep, and decreased life satisfaction. It’s key to find balance between spending and saving so you can enjoy your life now and in the future.
Create a “fun” bucket in your savings account. This could be for anything you want — a day trip skydiving, dinner at your favorite restaurant, trying out a new hobby. Take time to enjoy the money you save. While frugality is an excellent trait, spending money on people, places, and experiences that mean something to you can lead to fulfillment and purpose.
Rewrite Your Money Script
Remember, these money scripts aren’t set in stone and don’t have to define your future actions. Knowing how you relate to money now simply reveals previously undiscovered financial habits that can provide insight into how you view and manage money.
No matter which category you fall into, take note of where you are and where you want to be. Ask yourself the following questions:
What steps can I take to improve my relationship with money?
How can I balance spending and saving?
What are my core values and are my current financial habits supporting those values?
In what ways can my goals better align with my financial actions?
Our team loves helping people build a life they love. It starts by having a healthy relationship with money and using that healthy money outlook to expand your life. Ready to learn more? Set up a call today.
Episode 115: Unique Financial Planning Needs of the LGBTQ+ Community with Brian Thompson
As both a tax attorney and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™, Brian provides comprehensive financial planning to LGBTQ entrepreneurs who run mission-driven businesses. Entrepreneurs hold a special place in his heart. He spent a decade defending them against the IRS as a tax attorney and has become one himself as an advisor.
HERE’S WHAT YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
How Brian evolved from a tax attorney into a CFP™
Navigating unique financial needs for the LGBTQ community
The impact of marriage on a couples’ finances
Estate planning challenges for domestic partnerships
The financial paperwork that should be in place for every couple
How to navigate different mindsets around money
Financial planning tools for future family members
What it means to run a mission-driven business
How to mitigate “shiny object syndrome”
Where to begin if you want to create change in the world
The best way to measure your passion around an issue
How to leverage your unique expertise to make an impact
Episode 111: College Planning for Your Kids with Beth Greulich
This week I sat down again with Beth Greulich, CFP® to talk through how to financially plan for your kids to go to college and some tricks along the way.
Beth is a Certified Financial Planner™, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and Partner at Abacus. After a career in market research, she took some time off to raise a family. As she considered what to do next, she was driven by the memory of her grandmother and her desire to help others who lacked confidence with their money management skills.
As a financial advisor, she works closely with her clients, many of whom are women, to develop a unique and personalized financial plan that solves their specific needs. It’s extremely important to her that each of her clients clearly understand and can visualize the different paths/options that lead them to their financial independence. There are many forks in the road of life, so it’s important and extremely empowering to understand the long-term impact of each decision along the way.
HERE’S WHAT YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:
The main concern people have around funding education for their children
The first step in planning for college for your kids
When to start exploring college campuses
The importance of exploring college interests early
The best time to open a 529 plan
What it looks like to set up a 529 plan before your child is born
Where a college fund should rank on your financial priorities
What should be funded before the college savings account
Considerations when thinking about college financial aid
The most important things for kids to keep in mind while in college
When to speak to your kid about financial aid available for college
How subsidized and unsubsidized loans can come into play
The amount of loan a student can take before having a cosigner
How to help your children feel empowered when making college decisions
Shop around and negotiate! Here’s how
How to financially plan for college if you’re unsure if you child will even attend
What to do if you have a surplus in your 529 plan
GET SOCIAL WITH BETH AND LET HER KNOW YOU HEARD ABOUT HER HERE